Instincts

I seemed to have lost myself in a temporary arrangement with a man. I was so sure there was something in it. My instincts kept telling me otherwise, and as one of my spiritual leaders said me me yesterday ” your instincts are always so strong”. so the issue is Trust. Trusting what I feel and saying what I think. He sure as hell said what he thought. without much censorship. So why couldn’t I?

Saying what I think has never come easy. Hmmm. there were so many things I wanted to question but went into fear and numbness. Then the things he brings up when he finishes with me are the things I wanted to question! how pissed off am I?

My tendency to procrastinate was being challenged, which is a good thing on the whole. I don’t get along with being brutally challenged though.

One good thing is that I am writing this blog under no scrutiny which is one of the things he wanted me to do.

What am I learning? Be 100% clear about what I want. Question things I don’t understand. Question motives. Get a clear answer as to what that person wants, rather than trying to guess from their heavy hints. Become a woman of unlimited self-esteem. Start now.

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